Episode 29: Rediscovering Your Authentic Self with Leda Mitrofanis

Explore the journey of self-identity and self-love as Leda Mitrofanis guides readers toward embracing their true selves amidst societal and personal challenges.

Her website: www.simplyleda.com

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Hello world, Welcome to Choices Books and Gifts, where you always have choices. So, on our popular podcast today, I have Leda Mitrofanis with me. And before we get started, as usual, I want to tell you a little bit about Leda. So we know exactly what we're getting into and her credentials, and we'll go from there.

So Leda is a self-development counsellor, insightful author, and leader in personal growth, self-discovery, and emotional health. Her Human Case of Mistaken Identity series explores self-identity, self-perception, and the journey towards self-love and authenticity. Her first book, Me Myself and I, examines how her experience is shaped and sometimes distorts our sense of self. In her second book, Self-love: The Journey Home, Leda guides readers on a transformative path to embracing self-compassion and finding a home within themselves.

With a background in psychology and spirituality and a commitment to empowering others. Leda’s Work offers practical wisdom to help readers cultivate authentic self-love and unlock their true identities. Good morning, leader; how are you today? Good morning today. Thank you for having me on. It is my absolute pleasure. Thank you for coming on and being with us today.

So first, before we get started, Can you show us the two wonderful books and tell us where we can get them? They all speak. So this is the first book for me, myself, and myself. And the second book, Self-love: The Journey Home. The easiest way to get them would be just to go to my website. The books are listed with links to where you could buy them. Still, you can also get them on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and pretty much wherever you buy your favourite books, you can get them at choices as well. 

Choices as well? Yes. Can you tell us where can we buy them from you? You said If you go to my website, under the books tab, which is what then the links are all there to the different platforms. You can buy it on any of those platforms or go directly to the platforms. Reader’s choice. Excellent, excellent. That is making it very convenient for everyone to read these books.

Indeed. All right. So, I usually go into some questions, and I shall do so now. So my first question is, what inspired you to start that human case of mistaken identity series. And how did the idea of me, myself, and myself come to you? That's a great question. So first, let me just preface it by saying it's actually a four-book series, okay?

The reason I deliberately wrote it is that it is a four-book series, so the reader goes from book one to book four in order. So, I'm taking you on a journey. And the reason that I did it this way is because no one really wants to read a total of 500 plus pages. No one has that time. The nature and the content of the material are such that breaking it down into four different books allows the reader to process it, absorb the material, and then move on to the next book.

And the books are all deliberately written within 125 pages. So it's more bite-sized and more doable. It's not overwhelming. I found that this works better, and it was also my writing process. As I was writing, I realized that I needed to do one, part one, part two, part three and break it down that way.

And I just wanted to preface that. So book, I wanted to obviously year Out, and book three will be out in 2025. Okay. That's great. Thank you. And also, I want our listeners out there to know we are going to cover each book and a leda’s whole series, which is something great to look forward to. And I do have a lot of a lot of identification with that smaller, quicker, smaller information for me. 

I can learn, I can absorb, I don't forget it, or I can go back to it and read it. So, yes, I understand your thinking, and I agree with it. Right. Because these are books that you read as a novel or in one sitting. This is a book that you're going to have by your bedside, and you're going to go back to over and over again.

You know, you're going to go say, oh, what was that again? Because, you know, our self-identity is not something that we overhaul overnight. It's a process. It's a process of understanding. It's a process of integration. It's a process of unravelling. This is why it needed to be broken down. So, the entire series is an understanding and exploration of our core self-identity, how it functions, its purpose, and its tangible use in our daily lives within that mind, body, and spirit paradigm.

Okay, great. I know all my books are highlighted. The pages are bent. However, I can get to the information I find most important. Okay, so our second question is, in today's social media-driven culture, identity is often construed publicly. How does this book address or challenge that? Okay, so the first book is set up. It's the introduction, and it sets up the remaining books.

So, what that means is that in the first book, we tackle the state of our current culture. And obviously, the most noticeable and substantial difference in the last 50 years has been in technology, right? And social media is a very big part of our social culture. Right. What social media has done is that it has, in this culture of comparison and competition that it creates, brought all of our human shadows to the surface.

Right. And social media is our ultimate self-branding tool. So, it allows us to create personas that are not necessarily authentic to who we are, but actually, who we think we should be or want to be, as defined by our external circumstances, is determined by society as defined by whoever we are following on social media. And what that, in essence, does is it starts to crowd out slowly but subtly and surely. 

Our authentic self-identity. So, in essence, you're saying that with all the noise out there and everything that's coming in, as you said, this plethora of information is sometimes very confusing and frightening. The world is a very different world than the world I grew up in. Are you teaching us how to function in today's society with all this coming at us?

Yes, because what is happening, in essence, is that the world is what it is. We have to learn how to adapt to that without allowing our sense of self to get hijacked, eradicated, or disappear. Yeah. So, how do we navigate that? Right. Where you know we're scrolling all day long. Yes. You know our jobs and our work have become, you know, we're on call 24 /7. 

Yup. Yup. So we're this hour alone time. Come in. Where does that time come in? Where we are allowed to, and everything moves very quickly. Don't forget. So where is that time that we are allowed to process that downtime that's not filled with social activity but time for being alone and time to be in reflection? This is what we're losing.

When we start to lose this, we become disempowered and codependent on our external environment. When we do that, we're at the mercy of our external environment for validation. We're looking for who we are outside of ourselves, and we're never going to find it that way. We're always going to get derailed in that respect.

Absolutely. So the key is how do I navigate this world that I'm in and maintain and understand my authentic self-identity? Right. And the book comes along and says, okay, this is the state of the world. We're in. But hey, guess what? It's not the truth of who you are. Let me tell you. Let me help you to remember who you are.

And that's an inward journey. Yeah. That was beautiful. That's, you know, a great way to explain it. And I think most of us are making of ourselves or the world around us. And for us to take charge and realize this is what's happening, but we can still, you know, control and take over our own lives.

I think that's, you know, fantastic. We don't have to be, you know, sustained from the life we have. And, well, this is true. And we don't have to be afraid. Yeah. That if we stand and march to our own drumbeat, whatever that is. Yeah, that is perfectly acceptable. Yes. And that is part of the journey of book two, which, you know, we talk about self-love, but in the first book, it's really about saying, let me show you who you are.

Let me help you to remember. Let me show you that you are not your social conditioning, that you are not who someone else says you are. And it goes further to say, let me show you that you are not even your own human existence, but rather you are a spiritual being, having a temporary physical existence and not the other way around.

And that is your core identity. And let me show you how to take that and tangibly use it in your life within your mind, body, spirit, and paradigm that we are all as humans living in, right? Because that is the aspect of ourselves that we've kind of pushed away. We don't really think about it too much. We're very focused on our physical life.

Yeah. Right. The book makes the case for the spiritual identity as the governing body by bringing you back into your own innate wisdom and compass that each one of us has. There is a person who doesn't have it. The question is, are you accessing it? Yes, yes. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. Question three. How do you hope readers will use the concepts in your book to explore, explore, or reframe their own identities?

So, as the reader goes through the books, they are designed to be taken step by step. So the first book will teach you about what your spiritual identity is, how you can use it, how you apply it, and how it's already in acting in your life, but it's doing so subconsciously. Right. And then, it takes you on to the different components of your self-identity.

So, framing our self-identity is not something that happens overnight. Right. Because, in essence, what it is is an unravelling. In order to understand and reframe your self-identity, you first have to know what it is, right? So, what is your self-perception? Yeah. What are your belief systems? Because our behaviours stem from our belief system. So, you have to examine your belief systems.

And that really is not as easy as it seems because we subconsciously are picking up stuff since the day we're born from society, our nuclear family, our schools, and our friends. We pick up all these beliefs, and we hear somebody. So yeah. That's right. You know, we're handed stuff, we're being fed since we're little children, and we don't start sifting through that until we begin facing challenges and difficulties and obstacles. Then, we start questioning and asking if that is true.

Now, why did I just do that? Well, why did I behave like that? Where did I get that from? Is it my own, or did I pick it up from someone else? Yeah, that is a process. It's a process. And it's a process of sifting. Unravelling the social conditioning and keeping what is true for you and what is true for you.

So the only requirement I have of the reader is to keep an open mind and keep asking the questions of yourself. Don't be afraid to dig into that part of yourself that you know is the shadow, the part of yourself that's a little dark that didn't behave so great. You know, the only way to heal something is to bring it out into the open or into the truth.

Right. Absolutely, actually, the stuff, you know, we learned as we're growing up and, you know, the way we're taught in society and in school how to deal with things. I don't think there's enough of that. I don't think schools and and parents and all that teach us the way you're explaining it. You know, there's a thought, a feeling, a reaction, and then what the truth may be, you know, why?

Why did I do that, and for what reason? So I think that's fantastic. Well, and we have to remember, the reader has to remember that there's no right or wrong. This is your personal self-development, your growth, your evolution. And that's going to be different than mine or yours. Right? Right. And we're not here to be cookie-cutter.

That's why we're here to be uniquely ourselves. Right. And when we understand that from the first book, that's where the second book then starts saying, okay, now let me tell you how we're going to begin to put this together and how we're going to teach you to love and accept yourself. Very cool, very cool. All righty. So, the question for the book seems to promise a journey of self-discovery.

What might a reader gain on this journey? You're reclaiming yourself. Yeah, I like that. Really? I mean, that is. I could extrapolate a great deal on that. But the truth is, you're reclaiming yourself. You're going off on a journey to understand who you are, why you're here, and what you're doing here. How are you doing it? And what do you think your purpose for being here is?

Yeah. Yeah. I like it. You know. And what is your contribution? Yeah. And you can only do that by reclaiming your own identity. Perfect, perfect, perfect. So, question five is, what challenges did you face while writing a book that delves deeply into self-identity? That's a good question. The first part of the book, I mean, is like a mouthful right there.

In the first part of the book, I actually talk about my own journey. I talk exactly about this very thing. And you know, this is not a product of. Oh, one day, I sat down and said, hey, let's write about self-identity. Now, this has been 15 years in the making consciously, and we are all on our own journeys.

Right? After a while, you start to see where the dots connect and the path that leads you because your destiny pulls you in the direction that you need to go. Okay. So, for me, this series is a product of my own journey, my challenges, my difficulties, what I learned, my experiences, and all the things that I've studied, what I do and how I've put them together.

Because you know that when we write, right, we write from our own experiences. We write about our own connections. For me, identity was a major theme of my life, and I knew from very young that what I was taught wasn't answering the bigger questions that I had about who I am and why I'm here. And so I just said it was, you know, an unconscious journey initially.

Right. You're kind of going through life, and you're like, well, that doesn't work for me. And, you know, why am I not happy with this? And why is this not fulfilling me? You know, and am I missing? What am I missing here? Yeah. Yeah. Or why? Or you could say the question is, why don't I feel fulfilled? Well, why don't I feel able to navigate the difficulties and the obstacles before me? 

And why am I even having them? And you know, what I love is, you know, as you mentioned, you're helping people understand and teach people from your experience. You're not giving them something, you know, way out there, and you know you're talking about your experience, your life, and the things that you know you needed to do to get to where you are.

And I think it's important that we don't talk about things that we don't know about, that we only talk about our experiences. So I know for me, you know, I want to have identification with people. And when I read your book, I had that. Yeah. Verification. So, you know, because our own journey is like for me, as you know, I was a single mom. 

And, you know, I raised my son by myself, and, you know, that, in itself was a challenge. But, you know, there were additional challenges. You know, as I navigated the business world. You know, my change in career, a lot of upheavals that came my way. And each time, instead of, you know, initially, you know, everybody gets into that blame game and into the victim consciousness where, you know, you kind of have that woe is me sort of thing.

And I didn't stay in that place long. I was like, okay, no, that doesn't make sense. You know, we are not here randomly. We are not here by accident. Our life has a meaning and a purpose to us, maybe not to everyone else, but it does to us because my life is about my growth. Just the way yours is. 

About yours. Right. And it's up to me to figure out what that is and, you know, be responsible and accountable for that. And you help us get there, and I help you get there. The book really serves the whole series as a guide. You know, this is not a book to say, do this, do this, do that.

Overall, the book is written in a very neutral voice. In the second book, I give a case study actually, which I think is very helpful with examples. So, it's for everyone to extrapolate what applies to them and what resonates with them because we're all at different stages in our own development. So that's why it's a book that you could go back to, you know, five years down the road and reread it and take something different away from it. 

I’m thick; I'd go back a lot sooner than five years. Do we all do? The book is to serve as a guide. Yeah. Really? Yeah. And that's what's great, because, you know, as I said, all my books are highlighted in the pages of Ben because, yeah, when something has really related to me, I want to go back to that, remind myself, hey, you know, this is how I got out of this last time, and this is how I get out of it again.

Right. Or at least have a better understanding of myself. So just a terrific leader. Let me ask you this question. How do I and I set the stage for the rest of the human case of mistaken identity series? So, the book sets up and makes the case for our spiritual identity within the paradigm of society we're living in today, right?

You know, whether that's good or bad is irrelevant.  It's a fact that it is. And so, how do we navigate that? It then sets up the theme for the rest of the books, which then go into unravelling our human social conditioning. It teaches us how our behaviour and our social conditioning affect all our relationships and how to use them as a teaching tool.

Then we go into how to integrate what we're learning and bring ourselves into balance and alignment because that's the key at the end of the day. When you think about the fact that as human beings, we are a trifecta of mind, body, spirit, and optimal well-being, it means that those three components of our being must be in balance and in alignment and integrate with each other in a way that gives us that optimal well-being.

Right. So, you know, you have people who constantly work on their physicality, which is great. Still, you cannot do that at the expense of your mental and emotional well-being. That, too, is a component. What they don't stand alone. I love that because, yeah, you need them all in order for this to work. I mean, I don't know if this is along the same lines, but I know gym rats that, you know, they're in the gym for eight hours a day, and they're still angry, and they're still unhappy, and they're still complaining.

It's because of what you just said about mind, body, and spirit. I know that each and every day, I practice my spiritual growth by reading, praying, and meditating. I do that every single morning. That's great, and it just helps me start my day. But I love that because you needed all. You can't have just one. You cannot. 

And the key. And I want to share this with you. Although I know it, you know, if it answers the question or not. But just to go off topic for a minute, the key and one of the most helpful tools in this process is observation and discernment, as opposed to judgment and criticism. So it is about observing everything in your life from a state of neutrality and then discerning, not judging, not criticizing, but discerning what it is that resonates with you, that works with you, and what does not.

What serves you and what does not. Okay, I gotcha. So when you think about our daily lives, and you know, the most classic example is when we say, okay, show me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are. Right. So if you start looking at your social circle, right, and you say to yourself, okay, how is my social circle feeding me?

Are we inspiring each other? Are we lifting each other up? Are we laughing and full of joy? Or are we sitting here having, you know, a bitch fest? Are we complaining, or are we whining about something? You know, are we boohooing the state of the world or some event or whatever. So you know we're being said all day long.

We said that right before from, you know, the outside world. What we decide to let in is up to us. Yeah. Love it. It's all energy at the end of the day. We're energetic beings, you know? I mean, even from a science, if you look at it from the perspective of science, right? We're atoms. We're energy that vibrates at a certain speed.

Some slow, some quick. Right. And that's for everything in the universe and everything on the planet. So, just from that perspective, it tells you that we are all energy. So, what makes you resonate? To me, it's because we have a certain resonance with each other. Right. You meet someone, and you say, oh, wow, you know that person?

I really liked them. I really love their vibe. They're really cool. Or this or that. And then you're going to meet someone, and you're going to say, oh, I know they do anything, but there's something off, right? But when we are friends with people, especially our inner circle, those five people, four people in your inner circle, how are you seeing each other?

Love it. How are you? And you know, people say to me, oh, it doesn't matter. You know, you just take what you take. Leave the rest, whatever. And it's not necessarily like that because even when you're around something that is, say, negative, for example, you're still taking that in. I Agree I bring it subconsciously. Yes, I Agree, but it's still there. Yeah.

You know, planting that seed. And it could be something that you blew off. But an hour later, you're kind of angry about something, and you can't pinpoint what it is. Yeah. I know for me, if I'm not with people who are feeding me positivity, you know, talking about good things, healthy things, I don't want to be around people that are talking about negative things and unhappiness that that I'm in the right place because I also support them to the best of my ability.

And, you know, when they need my help. I'm there. But I think we should always be boosting one another up and not staying even-keeled or falling. Yes, because you mutually serve each other. Yeah. Always. Yeah. Always. So always that, you know, give and take are the same flow of energy. Yes, yes, yes. Right. So I do want to say this.

I want to say Leda and I, you know, spoke about this before we got started, and we wanted to get into all four series here, which we think is important. And, you know, we discussed about how people in their patients and everything are. And we decided to take it, you know, a half hour to 35 minutes at a time.

At the end of it, I'm sure I will summarize more of it and maybe even have a question-answer type of thing. So that would be great. And I think you would be helpful to the. Yeah, yeah. At this point, I am alone for this session. Is there anything you'd like to leave with us that you think is super important at this moment?

I do, actually, and what I want to leave everyone with is that we all know we live in very challenging times. For sure, and our lives in general are just very difficult now. We wear a lot of hats, and we're doing a lot of things. I want to say that no matter what is happening in your life, you know the good, the bad, and the ugly.

As we say, there is always a path to healing, to growth, to self-love, to self-acceptance. The path is always there. It's a matter of just taking a little bit of a shift in your turn a little turn, getting on that path and learning how, from the emotional standpoint to self-nourish in a way that allows you to heal any wounds you are carrying and really eventually live the life that you truly desire.

Yeah, in the way that desire, you know, you mentioned, and this is where sort of I go south sometimes. You mentioned that path, that journey that we're on. And sometimes life gets so busy for me and crazy that I forget. I need to be reminded on a regular basis that there is a path, there is a way, and that, you know, I may get lost for a little while, but I can get right back on that path.

And I think that's what's, you know, so important that we, you know, stand strong and hold to that path. And I think, well, you know, and the truth, the real truth is that we're on that path. Yeah. The question is, are you doing it consciously or unconsciously? Right. And the key is to do it consciously. Yes. And to know that no matter what happens, you're never alone.

Absolutely. Well, I just want to thank you so much for coming to this show. Thank you so much for having me, Jay. This was great. And I look forward to our, our, you know, each and every series I look forward to. And then I'm really excited about our question-and-answer day as well. So, for now, and only for now, I'm going to say goodbye.

God bless you and thank you so much. Thank you. It's been an honour. Beautiful.